I've fallen...

 i loved him for all the wrong reasons, thats ok. we all make our mistakes.
im currently, almost deathly ill. ew.
halloween was a blast.
i love my new friends.
i can tell they're sincerely gonna turn out to be some of the greatest.
i must rest now.

 I cant find myself.
Im pretty lost right now.
I dont believe in anything anymore.
Nor do I trust anyone.
I wake up feeling sad every morning.
The saddest part about this is: Im usually a very happy person.
Im not like this all the time tho.
Im happy when Im with friends, or the one I love.
But sometimes, I'll catch myself wanting to erase everything that's gone on.
Im in love, and I hate the feeling. 
Hate it.
Why does it hurt so much to love someone?
I pretty much want them gone, out of my head.
We knew eachother when we were 16 and now here we are, 22ish....and well, yeah.
There was a big gap where we lost touch.
Right now, the majority of me is really deeply wishing it  would have just stayed that way.